Vaarsuvius's Spellbook

Wow, I made it through a whole year with no drops until now XDDD

As much as I love the androgenous elf, I have decided to drop Vaarsuvius. He's too difficult for me to play right now, and it's hard coming up with ideas for him.

So, to flamingoheights, if you haven't already, please remove vforverbose from your friends lists. Elan's still here, but V's gotta go. Perhaps someday when I'm more skilled I'll take him up again, but...yeah.

Ever since I joined the Order of the Stick, I have been questioned about my gender.

CAN YOU FOOLISH RABBLE TRULY NOT TELL???

Hmm, I seem to have put on some weight.

I wonder how Miss Starshine is. I do miss her lovely smile.

((V has become real, unlike the stick figure you normally see him as. Also he has a crush on Haley))

......

-_-

I AM TIRED OF THIS WORLD'S PRACTICAL JOKES!

The humans here are all galavanting about disrobed, fighting about insignificant matters, seeking pleasure of all kinds regardless of whether they are tasteful or legal, and kidnapping innocent girls.

ENOUGH! IT ALL ENDS NOW! ALL OF YOU RETURN YOUR HEADS TO YOUR SHOULDERS AND STOP THIS BUFFOONERY! YOU ALL REPULSE ME!

((Vaarsuvius will be randomly ranting throughout the day, and has cast Explosive Runes in many places. Feel free to be a victim of either.))

...

Elan, would you care for some coffee?

((Explosive Runes coffee, of course XD))

Well, originally I planned to disassociate myself with Elan while he went about this...evangelism.

However, he has of course gotten himself in trouble, thus is computer as been damaged. And of course he tougt it was alright to make off wit my notebook. Why are they called notebooks I wonder...they do not resemble books at all. Quite more advanced. And they contain far more than merely notes. Why, the contents of a notebook are more advanced than even any spellbook I have encountered. Perhaps someday I shall investigate further into the delves of the notebook and see what secrets it olds. Now where was I...?

This is where I intervene. It is time for me to hunt down the trouble-making bard, and let him taste Evans Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion for this madness.

( private, nigh-impossible to hack )

((as revenge for beating him up while he was a lizard, Vaarsuvius has put a spell on Duo's hairbrush, and on it he's written "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning."

The way Explosive Runes works is that it is put onto an object, and when the words "Explosive Runes" are said, the object, well, explodes. Thus he writes that on the object with the expectation that somebody will read it aloud.

Have fun, Duo XD))

it seems i have once again been turned into a lizard. this is most troublesome. it is difficult to type, and i have lost my ability to cast my higher level spells without the ability to speak the words or perform the delicate hand gestures.

at least now i have a way to communicate. when this originally happened i had no way to tell my party what had happened. it was the most humiliating moment of my life, shunned as only a small creature that may or may not have been i, the wizard vaarsuvius.

that is all i will say on the matter. reading my own words written so simply is quite frustrating.

((dark world turned V into a lizard :D))

I have done my research on this holiday called Christmas.

I do not see how a woman can logically give birth as a virgin, or how this child was deemed a king when born to a poor family. If he was truly a boy chosen by the dieties, he is not of any gods I have ever heard of.

Nor do I understand why this day is now used by greedy merchants, or why it is celebrated with giving expensive presents to others and getting drunk.

Humans are unusual beings.

((I hate that I can never make V's ramblings long enough))

Elan has been apprehended and clothed. I shall see to it that he be properly punished for his ridiculous behavior.

Thank you for your assistance, Sir Hedgehog. Though there was truly no need to inflict punishment yourself.

The things I miss when I overtrance.

My most humble apologies to the alumni of Bonaparte Jr. High School for Elan's behavior. I will see to it that he is properly disciplined.

((and thus V goes to hunt down Elan, throw a robe on him, and drag him by the ear to his boss's office. But it's gonna take a while, 'cause he has to CATCH the streaking minstral first))

...I see.

I have seen many of your kind before, and I have one thing to say.

YOU, MADAM, ARE DELUDING YOURSELF!  YOU ARE NOT AN ELF, YOU ARE NOT A WIZARD, AND I NEVER HAD AN AFFAIR WITH YOU!  YOU ARE JUST A SELFISH, LYING GIRL WHO WILL SAY ANYTHING TO PENETRATE A MAN'S DEFENSES.  YOU ARE BUT A FIGMENT OF AN EMO CHILD'S IMMAGINATION, LIVING A LIE FOR THEM SO THEY CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES.  COME OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND JOIN US IN REALITY.  AND STOP GLOMPING ME!